Today I'm getting those skeletons out of my closet and sharing some of my fears with you. It's kind of daunting, if you ask me, because I've never met most of you! It'll give me a chance to reflect upon myself and let you get to know me a little better too.
Here goes...
{one}
I used to love flying. I still don't mind it, but I get a little more scared and nervous than I ever used to. I find myself thinking about all the bad things that could happen. Some people may say that this is a sign I'm getting old...
{two}
My student loan debt terrifies me. I log in to my Sallie Mae account as little as possible, just so I don't have to look at the outstanding balance. Let's just say that it's in the six figures, and the first number isn't a "1." Yikes.
{three}
I have yet to sign up for another race, but I have my eyes set on the Indianapolis Monumental Half Marathon on November 3. I'm scared that I won't do as well as I want to, and I don't want to run another race like this one. I think I just need to bite the bullet and do it.
{four}
I'm afraid of getting skin cancer one day. I'm not talking basal cell or squamous cell {both very treatable and usually uncomplicated}...I'm talking melanoma. The big one. After doing a dermatology rotation last February, I made myself an appointment for a skin check. Thankfully, everything was fine. I feel like I've been better about using sunscreen, but I still forget sometimes. Unfortunately, I forgot this past Sunday when we were at my aunt and uncle's pool, and I'm a little pink to show for it. Oops.
{five}
I think I've shared this before on the blog, but, for a long time, I've
been scared of one day being divorced. Thankfully, this fear started
long before I met TJ, and I really don't think I have anything to worry
about. Nonetheless, it's just scary to me how people can be married for
20+ years and then, a marriage just fizzles. All the more reason to work on your marriage every single day. I love you, TJ!
{six}
I'm really scared of having another miscarriage. I'm not sure when it's
in God's plan for us to welcome a baby into this world, but I'm not sure
if I can deal with the pain and loss of losing another. Sure, I was
only 5-6 weeks along, but I was heartbroken. A miscarriage is something
that you can't even comprehend unless you've been through it, and I
definitely don't want to go through it again. One is enough for me.
{seven}
I fear that I'm not doing enough....my house isn't clean, I have
multiple loads of laundry to do, shirts and pants to iron, and papers
all over my office. I realize that I'm working a full time job {plus
time for reading and studying} and trying to be a good housewife, but
sometimes I feel like I fall short. When I start feeling this way, I
know I just have to make a list and check things off one at a time.
Otherwise, I'll just feel worse and worse and won't get anything done!
{eight}
Sometimes I'm afraid of not doing this whole blogging thing right...I
may not have loads and loads of followers, comments, etc, and it's easy
to get caught up in the numbers. Then, I remember that I do this FOR ME.
If people enjoy what I write, fantastic, but most importantly, I want
to continue doing this blogging thing for myself. {and hopefully not
bore you all in the process!}
~~~~~
If you missed last weeks' post, you can read about my nine loves here.
xo, emily
